^anGe is Back! :)
Hey there guys, after a long time of being idle fron the internet, I realized how boring my life is. So, due to public demand I realized that I must once again go back to this cyber zone. Hehehehhehe... :) WHY? I dont know why exactly.
I guess I just feel the need to get back on track with my frends. AM DEAR, I LOVE YOOU! :) AM is my lesbian lover. Lol.. hehehhee... oh yah, am cortez fixed this layout but the images and ol i got it from blogskin.com.. :) anyways, whats leftt to say? WELCOME to my blogspot. I hope that this entertains you all.
I'll try my best to keep this updated as much as i can. Oh ayan ICY, nagbblog na ako. hehehe.. :) I miss you guys so much. :) my only frend nowadays is kerokeropokey! (my dead frog whom I am disecting.. haha.. we named it so that maging aliw yung disecting part.. hehe..)
A Tribute to thy self: THE ART OF VANITY... :)
Vanity is not that bad. Haha.. This is not just to prove my point that I am conceited and I love staring at myself but really, its a good thing. My definition of being vain is being constantly conscious of what you wear and how you look. Honestly, I have ignoring that fact. I am starting to be so conscious with my appearance. I dont know
if some people would appreciate that but for me, I love the feeling. I've always been a sort of "tomboy" as many perceived me to be back in pisay. Maybe its because I was captain ball of the basketball girl's varsity team for 2 consecutive years and I was obsessly playing basketball all of my high school days, but yes--yes, i know the answer: i ain't tibo. i am a girl.
its just that i was in an environment wherein i wasn't able to explore my feminine sides. Hello... i was surrounded by my coaches for 4 years, i mean they were practically my family in Pisay that I wasn't able to learn about those girly stuffs my cousins had back in poveda. Yah, my cousins always tease me how I don't know how to put make up or how I am always dressed
in just plain shorts and long shirts. I remember how sir fil would always tease me with how I smell right after training (haha.. :) ) and how i eat without any manners. "Yucky Babe" as Sir Duliesco calls me. But as everyone changes, I have.. I became overly conscious with how I look. It started when my ex boyfriend broke up with me for another girl. Hehe.. That was
the most depressing feeling that I started to realize that I need to explore my feminine side. So I have, and this is what happened. I'm thankful though that he broke my heart coz I learned so many things about myself--how helpless I was and how I was so naive about life. It was hard but I am happy that he did that to me. I finally understand why he left me although
we never had a talk before we parted ways. There was no really closure. That's why it was hard to forget. You know the feeling of not knowing why and how it all ended? Why our long years of being bestfriends and having that relationship ended right before your eyes not knowing why? He never even explained. He left without a trace. I was trapped in a shell for too long.
I lost weight. I gained confidence. I told myself that when I see him, he's gonna regret... i know he had. (haha... ang filing!:) ) but i know i had... im with someone right now, his name is Emil John Vincent V. Basabas. I love him. Okay, I shud really stop talking about my ex now. :) Past is past. Now is the present. It is in the present that I have my Hon whom I love.
And that is all that matters. :) Anyways, going back... I am so vain lately. It's like that I have this thing with how my hair shud look and how I shud wear--and oh!! what to wear each morning when I go to UP! It suxxxx... hehe.. is it a phase? Oh well.. I think it is.. hehehe... It sucks. But I love the feeling when people looks at you and you feel that confidence pouring.
Well, I dont really care about what people say or if they adore me--that's being overly conceited. I just wanna look gud, smell gud, feel gud coz it makes me shine--bloom. hehehe.. :) It makes me a better person coz i know that i look and feel good. It adds to your ganda points, right? :) Yah, confidence is so much attained with being conscious with what you wear.
That's why I really want to start caring about how I look each morning. That's why the art of vanity is GREAT!! I am vain and I am proud of it. I stare at myself in the mirror for 2 hours. SHT noh? Its tiring at times... hahaha.. I study my angle, my good angle. I make faces and try to dephir which one is cute. I model clothes in the mirror and try to distinguish what I'll
wear for the whole week. YUP. PRETTY MUCH VAIN. hehehe.. :) I love it. I love the feeling. :) Its just so fulfilling when people compliments your looks and clothes. BUT HELLO... honestly, it doesnt go straight up to my head like what my frends say. I remain humble. HONEST!! :) I am a down to earth dude. :) Hehehe.. :) HONEST! oh well.. bahala kayo. basta ako, i know that i
dont brag to myself that i am gorgeous or what and i dont fish out compliments. It doesnt stick to my head. But ifever it does, feel free to correct me and tell straight in my face tHIS: "ANG YABANG MO!?!!! MAGBAGONG BUHAY KA NA!!" haha.. but we have to be close, okay? coz if not, sasampalin kita.. :p hehehe.. oh well... CHEERS FOR VANITY! HERE'S FOR ME, AND FOR ME BEING VAIN! I LOVE MYSELF SOOO MUCH! :)
I am a FRUSTRATED DREAMER.. :)
Who am I? Well, im on the phone with my boyfrend right now and he describes me with just one word, "VAIN." Grrr... im not vain!?! I AINT. Hehehe.. Maybe im just conscious about how I look but that doesn't mean that i am VAIN. hehehe.. *EJ is constantly teasing me how vain i am* Anyways, what can I say about myself? My name is Maria Angelica Callanta Agoncillo, aka Ange pronounced as Ang-ge. PLEASE. PAKIUSAP, SPELL IT WITH ONE G coz really im gona flip.. Its because there's this ugly gurl from Okay ka fairy ko, si "bale" ba yun? and her real name is angge... i was a child back then and ewan ko kung bakit tumatak sa isip at damdamin ko... :) kaya pls... its ANGE.. :)
I am a frustrated dreamer. Hayy... So many dreams shattered. It's so disappointing. I feel like I am a loser, a geek, a nobody. I want to do so many things yet I was not given the chance to do them. WHY? OH WHY? that's why I remain frustrated... and i continue to dream. Libre lang mangarap, diba? But eventually, I want to come out victoriously. I want to succeed with my life long dream. Dreams. Ambitions. Goals. Life. Life is all about dreaming. It's all about attaining your own dreams. We just have to travel the extra mile to attain our life long dreams. That's why I continue to struggle in this world where its all about losing and gaining. We fail in order to succeed. Isn't that ironic? But life has its on way of pulling one back to its course. I may have not attained my life long dreams of being part of the UP LADY MAROONS, but life shudn't stop from there. Oh yes, believe me. I was so down when they didn't take me in. I lost my composture and trust with myself. Ang bano ko tlga siguro magbasketball noh? that's why lately you wont see me playing... I lost my confidence. SAD yet TRUE. Ive stop playing basketball coz I thought I wasnt gud enuf. But lately, I find myself more and more longing to play. I may have lost that competative nature (oh yes, i was very competative..) but I gained love--love for the game. That is why I decide to come back once more and play, play like there wud never be tomorrow; play with all my might and skills... :) Play like BANGGOI! I miss playing basketball. Maybe it was not just meant for me. Maybe, just maybe.. I was meant for something else. I duno what but I just feel that I am meant for something big, something bigger than just becoming a basketball player. That's what I've realized lately. This is why I am exploring myself. This is why I continue to struggle for existence and to find my true self. Lately, I realized that I'm maturing. I duno if maturing comes hand in hand with being boring, but whatever it is... I am changing. Quoting from a buk I read (I forgot which one).. change is the only inevitable thing in this world. Change is the only constant thing. Sounds weird ryt? But yes, its the only constant event--changes. People change, situations change but what remains is the bond we have with people. That is why Im doing this to remain in touch with the people I have shared my life with once. I know im becoming sentimental but lately college is making me realize how important it is to know thy self. College is so much different. In a way, its so lonely and scary. Lonely because you finally realize that you're on your own. Scary because you don't know if what you're doing is right coz ur all alone--no one is der to do things for you. You're by yourself. You're all alone. Well, this is another story and im gona save it for my upcoming entries. What more can I say about myself? I am a dreamer. And I wont stop until I obtain those dreams.. :) I AM A DREAMER. I MAY BE FRUSTRATED, but I WONT STOP DREAMING.. til i MAKE IT; til my DREAMS become into a reality. This is me. This is ange.. When sum up with just one word of who i am, i will say that i am a FIGHTER. That's right.. You wont see me crying (well, i do. honestly i do... all the time: ang weird, basta alam mo yung iiyakin lng yng problema, i mean il do sumtin about it) over a problem. I will fight and stand for what i believe is right. I am no longer afraid. I will no longer be unheard. Its my time to come out from this shell and let my voice be heard. Let it start with this blog. Let the world hear me out. :)
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